Friday, August 28, 2009

My New Addiction

I had a bad morning filled with anxiety and panic attacks because my new favorite website did not work for a while and scared me with all sorts of messages such as: "this website domain no longer exists" and "the page you are looking for might have been removed" etc.
I pretty much said my goodbyes in my mind, since I am almost 100% sure that the content on this site is illegal and it will soon be reported and/or sued..but in the meantime, the site is BACK, and I couldn't be happier...
ENJOY - http://peopleofwalmart.com/

p.s. this is EXACTLY the reason why only LADY GAGA can get away with wearing NO PANTS.


p.p.s. thank GOD for their twitter updates reassuring us everything is ok and they will be back up soon! http://twitter.com/peopleofwalmart

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Quote of The Day

"If God has the time to work on this production and that's the best God can do, then we are all in trouble"
- Anderson Hays Cooper (although i think he should legally substitute H. to stand for Hot and not Hays)
I would just like to ask the Miss Universe Pageant Organization one question, did they actually pay Heidi Montag to sing because they knew their ratings were going to be low and the only way to attract a broader audience was to hire a bad dancing, bad lip-syncing, fame seeking blond bimbo so we'd all tune in and laugh? I think their plan backfired, because more people talk about Heidi's (my fingers refuse to type the word "performance" in this sentence, I just looked up the antonym, and the dictionary told me "failure" so that sounds about right) than the actual pageant...go figure.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Quote of the Day

"97% of Hollywood, the entire state of Florida, every person with the last name Lohan and half the bankers on Wall Street just moved to Mexico. ARRIBA!" - Dlisted.com

Well, well, well, just when we all thought Mexico was THE location for a guaranteed memory loss Spring Break, Mexico now guarantees you to have a drug-induced coma Spring Break. Apparently, "No charges will be brought against ... addicts or consumers who are found in possession of any narcotic for personal use," the Senate bill reads. Wow, what a nice country!
Let's keep the addicts addicted and turn the consumers into addicts since they ALWAYS need some narcotics for "personal use" to keep the high going.
You can legally carry the following amounts of drugs in your fannypack in Mexico: 5 grams of weed, the equivalent of about four joints. Half a gram of cocaine, the equivalent of about 4 lines. 50 milligrams of heroin, 40 milligrams of methamphetamine and 0.015 milligrams of LSD.
Just out of curiosity, what did they set as an acceptable and "legal" DUI limit for an amount of drugs to be in somebody's system before they get physically impaired, get behind the wheel and take away somebody's life?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Allow Me...

Allow me to put in my 2 cents...

Many of my friends have been addressing numerous Lady Gaga related questions to me since I know more about her than any subject i studied at school...and i guess i deserve it since I've converted to Lady Gaga-ism. So Here it goes, my opinion on the infamous & controversial question about Gaga's Hermaphrodite-ness. Here is the dumb video that started this rumor -

I'm sorry but whatever brain-dead loser started this rumor obviously has never seen a penis in their uneventful lifetime...I DON'T see anything. So, no I don't think Gaga has a big dick because we would have all seen it a million times.
Another reason to love her: this is what she posted on her fbook page in response to this funny situation:

Lady Gaga "Love you Japan! Pokerface just went #1! Thanku!!. My show was so good last night. I just had to go home and suck my own hermie dick, suckka" - August 7 at 8:43pm


maybe just the hair...

Thursday, August 13, 2009

OMG


OMG, I'm sorry but how is my boyfriend, Bruce Willis supposed to SAVE US when we don't have enough funds to detect big ass, catastrophic asteroids?
According to an article on cnn.com, NASA will not meet its goal of tracking 90 percent of all deadly asteroids by 2020 without MORE funding.
Well fuck that, stop buying $1695.00 pair of boots and $3000 chanel bags and let's start putting money in Brucey's pension on a mission fund!
Thanks.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

GET RICH


Just when I thought i was gonna get rich from selling my stuff on the internet, i get this in response. FML





"Hi,

I noticed your ad for the shoes. I just happened to be a guy who has
a foot/shoe fetish. Would you be interested in selling me your shoes?
By the way, how would you feel about doing a foot fetish session? I
see you have very pretty feet since u wear these sexy shoes.
I would pay well for that. I am a 30 year old, professional
executive. I'd like to meet up at perhaps a starbucks so that we both
feel comfortable. Let me know how you feel and if u'd be interested.

thanks"

to make the story worse, i facebook searched his email address and a profile actually came up. What a creep.

I am not YOUR MAMI!!!!

I AM NOT YOUR MAMI!

Walking through NYC streets during lunch hour can be claustrophobic enough, so I could really do without the assholes who stand around and get up in my face to call me "Mami" and "sexy" along with any other Spanish or English phrases I try to block out as I frantically dial somebody to seem busy on the phone. Why is this accepted? Women don't stand around calling guys "sexy" and "papi" in the streets, maybe after midnight on certain streets, but still...
I am furious because I was having a very intimate moment with a cookie i was devouring as I walked and while I was in the middle of sensually biting into it, like a vampire would bite a human (I've been watching too much True Blood lately), a fucking idiot had to get close and call me "Mami!" WTF??? my special, intimate moment RUINED.
I like to think of these stupid & sad human beings as paparazzi without a camera.
You know, come to think of it, I'd rather be famous because the harassment is pretty much the same - so what's a few more blinding flashes along with the "mami" and "sexy" and "ooohhh damn girl you looking good today" AND the kissy noises as if I'm a fucking puppy. No, I will not run to you and lick your face!

PLEASE GO TO HELL

http://perezhilton.com/2009-08-05-listen-up-doug-paris-dog-house-is-damn-comfortable

DE PRESSED

I am depressed.
No, i'm not depressed about my own life and Yes, I am aware that I could be living in Afghanistan, or Darfur or any other more depressing place than New York. I am depressed about the world.
Everyone is fucking depressed. The rich are depressed, the poor are depressed, what are we to do?
  1. While people starve in 3rd world countries, millions of girls and guys (who can afford a meal) starve on purpose because we all have body image insecurities thanks to countless tv shows, music videos and covers of magazines that photoshop what a real body looks like. Who the fuck decided that photoshopping faces and bodies is what looks good? I'd really like to meet that person and beat him up (shut up, violence is the not the answer but a real fucking eye-opener).
  2. While people are in major credit card and financial debt, or those who simply cannot afford to buy desirable or "in-style" latest collections, ridiculous people like Anna Wintour, make women believe that they need to spend $700 on a pair of shoes or $1500 on a fucking bag. REALLY? I'd like to know why it is so important to own a pair of shoes that cost as much as a vacation?
  3. Shame on those designers and celebrity turned designers who came from nothing and now sell jeans, shoes, dresses that cost thousands of dollars and put people in further financial debt and depression because they can't look as cool as the photoshopped bitches in the ads of Vogue
  4. Please stop taking anti-depressants, pain-killers, and other shit that dull your senses and put a band-aid on your depression. All these chemicals turn you into nothing but a bunch of zombies that are "happy"
People have really lost touch with what is important in life and i am depressed and disgusted.
Our world gets crazier by the day, and it becomes way too too difficult to always look at the positive and bright side.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Happiness...

Happiness is a word that gets said a lot but not many people experience. Who is truly happy these days?
You would think celebrities have it all - fame, money, good looks, nose & boobs jobs and botox. And yet, their unhappiness and meltdowns are splattered before our eyes on every magazine cover, online news site, daily newspaper, etc. Everywhere I look, i see something about celebrities breaking up, releasing sex tapes, overdosing, being admitted to hospitals for psychiatric evaluations, and the list goes on.
It's becoming apparent that happiness is not a frequent flyer to Hollywood.
I think to find happiness, one must become involved in a great cause that is close to the heart. If that cause is realized and contributed to with utmost love, care and dedication, then its creator will be happy.
What makes you happy?