I am not YOUR MAMI!!!!

I AM NOT YOUR MAMI!

Walking through NYC streets during lunch hour can be claustrophobic enough, so I could really do without the assholes who stand around and get up in my face to call me "Mami" and "sexy" along with any other Spanish or English phrases I try to block out as I frantically dial somebody to seem busy on the phone. Why is this accepted? Women don't stand around calling guys "sexy" and "papi" in the streets, maybe after midnight on certain streets, but still...
I am furious because I was having a very intimate moment with a cookie i was devouring as I walked and while I was in the middle of sensually biting into it, like a vampire would bite a human (I've been watching too much True Blood lately), a fucking idiot had to get close and call me "Mami!" WTF??? my special, intimate moment RUINED.
I like to think of these stupid & sad human beings as paparazzi without a camera.
You know, come to think of it, I'd rather be famous because the harassment is pretty much the same - so what's a few more blinding flashes along with the "mami" and "sexy" and "ooohhh damn girl you looking good today" AND the kissy noises as if I'm a fucking puppy. No, I will not run to you and lick your face!

Working Girl

No, this is not what it looks like. I did not pick up after a dog on the street.
This is a chocolate, 60 calories munchkin that I devoured in .2 seconds and am pretty sure could have won the fastest time for eating a munchkin award, if such an award existed.


While watching reruns of Sex and the City the other day (which i live for on CW11 at 11:30 pm, and on TBS at 12 am AND 12:30 am - the TV God is good) I saw an episode of Samantha, Charlotte, Carrie and Miranda sitting in Bryant Park and discussing their busy lives. Miranda summed up her life as "Work, Work, Au Bon Pain, and Work" and I couldn't relate more. When someone asks me about how my life is after college, I now respond "Work, Work, Dunkin Donuts, and Work."
So, earlier today during my usual run to Dunkin Donuts while waiting for my coffee, my eyes scanned the calorie amounts revealed under each delicious tray of love & happiness filled donuts, bagels, etc. My eyes settled on a 60 calories, chocolate munchkin tray and I decided that since I never buy anything else from Dunkin Donuts besides liquids, I deserve a lil something something - plus I needed some sugar to get through the rest of the work day. The lovely worker placed my munchkin into the paper bag as I paid and headed back upstairs to the office. As I peeked inside the bag in the elevator ride up, I saw not one, but two munchkin stuck together! Feelings of happiness and sadness overwhelmed me at the same time. I was happy because I now had 2 munchkins for the price of one and 2 chocolate anything is always better than one. I felt sad because I knew there was no way I could resist the second munchkin and "put it down and step away from the munchkin." As I got to the office, I devoured the first munchkin and wrapped the second one away and put it my drawer...needless to say, a minutes later, I swung open my drawer as if there was a thousand dollars in there waiting for me, and devoured the 2nd munchkin. But like they say, "if nobody saw it, then it didn't happen."

Dear Weather, take some Motrin and stop PMSing

Dear Weather,

please stop burning CA and drowning NY.

While wildfires spread and destroy my future dreams of moving and safely living in California, there have been non-stop downpours in NY. I think it's time for me to move to a place where the weather doesn't PMS as much.